Monday, April 28, 2025

Cupcake Day Signs, Gifts, Giggles, and Blessings

 

Magic by Elli Groninger
Cupcake Day, for those of you who know me, happens twice a year - every year. Once on my beloved daughter Jessica's Earth Birthday when she was born, which was April 29, (1988), and once again on her Celestial Birthday, also known by some as the "death day" on January 9th, (2015). So on these two days my husband and I buy or make a cupcake which we share together, and drink a celebratory glass of Cupcake wine (yep it's a real brand and it's not bad!), cheering her on her accomplishments, adventures, and journeys near and far.

These days can feel a little and sometimes a LOT serious and heavy and heartwrenching, and after 10 years of her passing I can say I am better at navigating the emotion than I was for the several years. So this year I said to my husband, was feeling especially heavy because a little over a year ago my beloved sister, Melinda passed, and not even nine months later, my 90-year-old mother passed. All three had lengthy and alarming and painful illnesses, so with each came true challenges with finding balance in my heart and mind.

On top of that, this very weekend my mother's home sold, and that was feeling extremely emotional, mixed with all those feelings of her pain, which I couldn't control, memories flooding in both good and not so good, and feeling the absence of my sister so acutely I found myself having nightmares and sometimes crying (when nobody would see) and I was feeling rather devastated and alone.

ENTER ELLI GRONINGER! I ADORE this woman! I adore her work and we have several pieces I've collected over the years, plus I thoroughly enjoyed giving some of them to my Lovies when they were here. Shortly before my birthday, which falls also in April, I fell in LOVE with this Monarch Moose figure Elli created because when I saw it in the State College Framing Company and Gallery it made me giggle right out loud. And I said to Rob, my hubby, "You know what? I think I'd love to have this in our home to remind me to lighten up and not be so serious!" He likes to make me happy so he bought it for me, and I can't tell you how many times I walk by and tap its little nose or even give it a kiss right on its nose for the joy it brings in reminding me how blessed I am to have these Lovies in my life, both while they were on Earth and now when they have the whole Universe to play in. It reminds me that LIFE is the important thing. That death is just a split second transition, that the suffering is temporary, thank goodness, and many sweet and loving things happen between us all not only while they were here but now too!

I love the signs and gifts that they're with us in spirit. For example, my hubby and I were listening to a playlist we've listened to a thousand times, when we ask Alexa to play Frank Sinatra. She loops through a fairly familiar playlist that's pretty long and thoroughly enjoyable, but THIS weekend, what happened? I don't know, but a new song came onto that playlist and we had nothing to do with it but I suspect my Lovies in their heavens did. We were in the kitchen cooking dinner, and in the middle of this familiar playlist along came Andrea Bocelli's GORGEOUS rendition of Time to Say Goodbye and for some reason this piece of music captured my heart with such beauty and soul and oh my gosh, gave me the best kind of goosebumps (always a sign of spiritual presence with me). I vaguely knew that my sister's beloved hubby had played it at her funeral service, but at that time I was home in bed sick as a dog, (probably pneumonia, ack it was so bad...) and her husband was kind enough to set up the service streaming so I could watch it from my bed. 

So THIS weekend, when it played out of the clear blue sky and captured my attention I wanted to know more about who was singing and who this person was. Welp. It was a gift. Because there are so few people you run across who are such that you would want to be like them. I googled all I could find out about him and was enchanted to find that his whole family is talented and refined and beautiful beyond compare, AND that his mother was advised not to allow her pregnancy to continue because the docs knew he would suffer some physical challenges. Well God bless her in the best way, she didn't listen to them and she had this special baby, and she was also wise and compassionate, and in raising him with his surgeries and various physical challenges she noticed that music was the very best thing that soothed him when he felt sad or frustrated, so she gave him all the exposure she could, which he asked for, and as he grew up, he eventually learned to play a million different instruments, speak several languages, sing like magic, and love without reservation, which led to his children becoming some really amazing and talented people too! AND led to the whole wide world loving him and his family and the gifts and magic they share so generously with us.

So this tiny gift of a song which I absolutely believe was my sis in spirit lifting my heart when it felt so crushed missing her, led me to a discovery that now brings me hours of joy in listening to him - and his family sing, and such joy in just knowing there are people like this on the planet. How lucky we are. Thanks Mellie. No wonder she loved him. She used to blast his music along with many others when she was here, and she's still helping us to share in the joy. True joy. It sure felt like magic to me, give it a listen.

So that led me to contemplate LIFE and what my Lovies created and shared. They were all very different from each other, but each exquisite in their own way for their own reasons. I thought about the beautiful rocking chair my mother gave me shortly before she passed. It's so precious in our home. Every member of my family going back to her mother and father and quite probably her mother's mother has sat in it, AND my beautiful son and his wife and the newest member of our family, my granddaughter, so it's a very special chair. It had seen some wear, being over 100 years old, and even though my mother recovered it once, it was time to do it again, so I invested and now it's just such a special piece of family history that I love to rock in sometimes, remembering all the good times, when it lived in my grandmother's home, then my mother and father's home, then her home, then ours. Sigh. It's like being wrapped in a big hug to sit in it. 

The lovely rocking chair XO
Now recovered in soft forest green velvet.
Mom gave us something else that I a l m o s t didn't bring home. It was the grandmother clock that had belonged to her mother. I remember hearing it chime when we visited my Gammy's home, which was my favorite place to be because she loved me so well. The reason I almost didn't take it was because our town is fairly small and we do not have anything to choose from for people who know how to repair clocks and get them working. I understand that mom's clock was working when she moved here, but when it stopped, nobody helped her get it fixed (I'd have done it but I didn't know it wasn't working cause I didn't see her during Covid and not much after because we were both so sick). But again, my hubby was so wonderful he went online and found a wondrous clock man called Walt Mack, who came and took the clock back to his place of business about an hour and a half away, replaced some parts, serviced it, and got it working, and TA DA! We now have that beeeeeeeeeautiful sound in our home what I remember from when I was a kid and what it says to me is: Time is special, use it wisely and let it sing to you. I stopped wearing watches a long time ago and I do not run my life by the clock since I retired - my schedule is crazy artist stay up all night working and sleep a lot of the day, because I'm a project person and I'll stop when the work tells me it's a stopping point, not the clock. But THIS clock is like a grandmother herself, reminding me to BE in the moment and to LOVE how I spend my time. So it is most precious to have, thanks mom for the gift, and thanks Rob for making it work.
Grandmother clock sings her song so beautifully XO

Then I thought of my sister and all she gave to me while she was here. Lucky am I to have her with me. She was my person and I'm pretty sure she still is. She was everybody's person because she was a nurturer from a very early age. My sis was different from me, very much so, since I, being an artist from the tender age of about 6, didn't care a hoot about people, I cared only about being alone and creating. Florence Nightingale I would never be, though I was and am fierce about supporting my children emotionally, and trying to protect them from any who might hurt them, I want them to spread their wings and fly, where my sis was just always cooking and phoning and listening and talking and connecting and teaching and loving so very well. I do love with all of myself but it's quite different. So we were very close and loved each other unequivocally, having a sort of symbiotic relationship. We loved giving each other presents and knew each other fairly well, and there are things in my home, just so many that I have around me that she gave me, one of which is a beautiful stained glass mobile that hangs above my desk in my studio, turning gently in the breezes that flow through, flashing light here and there, like she did. I love it. I think of her when I see it and it makes my heart sing. Thanks Mellie, for all of your gifts, which were many, and for being my person, then and now XO
The beautiful stained glass mobile XO
She also gave me such fun birthday presents. She'd say about a week or two ahead of time, on the phone or if we were visiting, "Somebody I know has a birthday coming up! What would you like?" And that's how I got the lovely rainbow candle holder she gave me which is kind of like a little piece of God or Creator sitting in my studio because, rainbows you know....
My sister's magical rainbows are with me whenever the sun is out,
I don't even have to light the tealight inside!

And next to my sis's rainbows are the camels I inherited from my mother and the kaleidascope I gave my Dad one year. Lovely reminders of things they loved and things we enjoyed together. XO

And my Sweet Jess. I have so many things she gave me, though she didn't believe in holidays per se, she just liked to give me special things when she felt like it. I love them all but perhaps most of all I love the photos she took as a professional photographer. There are literally hundreds and hundreds and I have them on my computer, but one she framed for me and I've never seen anything like it. Lots of photographers go to Antelope Canyon and take pics, but hers is like nothing I've ever seen before. It holds worlds upon worlds and I remember asking her when she gave it to me how it came about and she said she had to wait until the other tourists had gone through, and she went up to this crevasse and touched the sand with her fingers, then stepped back and snapped this shot. Wow. I just adore it. Thank you my lovely for your artistic eye and your road trips and sharing your talents with me XO
Jessie's experience of Antelope Canyon.
Bet you'll never see another like this one, it's amazing.

Because it's framed it doesn't really photograph well at this point, though you can pop by and see it in person anytime, along with several additional amazing photos she captured - magical moments in time.

So when I was feeling a bit lonely with nobody to talk to as my mother's home was closing out an era, and I was so missing my sis and daughter, and most especially my son and his lovely wife and my baby granddaughter, (who live a bit far away to visit as often as I'd like what with work and all) the music and Elli's lovely creation reminded me to think of my beautiful blessings and keep my heart light.

And you know what happened? Welp, sometimes when the Universe is busy loving you it tends to keep on coming, and that's what happened.

Hubby and I were sitting on the porch and he went into the house for something or other and right then the doorbell rang. (This was on the hard Saturday.) We wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't gone into the house right then. Lo and behold, it was our DARLING little neighbor from across the street. She's very young, I think around 7 or so. And she has the BEST EVER parents I've ever seen. They take their kids outside every day no matter what the weather and they have lots of other kids over all the time and they're so patient and kind and take great care of their yard and home, and the kids are always adorable. Well she was skating around the neighborhood on her whatever you call those single wheel roller blades with a basket over her arm distributing butterfly drawings just because. So WE GOT A BUTTERFLY DRAWING, and I'm telling you it made my heart sing, cause if you can't have your littles with you sometimes there are others who share that special innocence and joy and it's so special. So look what we got to put on our fridge, yep, THAT icky sticky hard day...
Baby artist sharing her joy, yay!
She has no idea how much we just love it! So I searched through my art supplies, always one to encourage the littles in creativity and found a lovely butterfly coloring book that was yet untouched and we ran it over there and gave it to them with a note (written in super glitter marker that she'll enjoy) letting her know how much we love it. When Rob dropped off the coloring book and card, her Dad said she was so proud of her drawings and rightly she should be! 

And here's the thing. I realize it's been a heck of a tough year. But I also realize how much my Loves have given and still give, here, there, everywhere, and so this year, for Cupcake Day, I've decided it needs to be a democratic year. Because almost all my girls are in Heaven now (except of course baby granddaughter who high fived them on the way up/down I'm sure, and her beautiful Mama who is here with us) it's not going to be "only" a Sweet Jess cupcake. And there won't just be one. 

We're making a batch of from scratch carrot cake cupcakes with yummy cream cheese icing, and we're sharing with our little artist and her family across the street, with my sister's husband, and if there's anyone else who wants one, pop over and get it quick cause they won't last long. Hubby printed out the most gorgeous recipe, and tomorrow I'll upload a photo of our shared "democratic" cupcake, which I'm sure Sweet Jess would approve of, cause she was always a very sociable gigglepuss who loved to share her joy.
Happy Celestial journeys to Sweet Jess
and Mellie, and Mom.

I love you my sweet daughter, forever and a day, as you know. Thank you for your gifts, for your ongoing presence, and for being you XO

Mama

Never be afraid to love with all of yourself. When you're loving, love finds ways to come to you when you least expect it and what a joy that is.

If you'd like to read more of our story, you can access my books at Coming Alive After Death: Recovery from Grief and Letters from Celestial Jess: Afterlife Messages from My Daughter

Namaste. 
~Jen







Wednesday, March 12, 2025

Going to a Very High Place

 

New neurographic drawing, yay!

I've been spending a lot of time learning, processing, and comforting myself with books and movies after the passing of my beloved sister and mother less than a year apart. When I'm processing that much emotion I tend not to work because thoughts and memories come frequently and I find myself sort of staring and just looking at things like trees and birds and the rainbows my crystal in the window decorates my studio with on sunny afternoons.

So it is with relief and gratitude that I find myself finally able to focus on output rather than all that processing and putting painful things into a more comfortable context. Last night I found myself bored with television and reading and I didn't want to think - dishes were done and the kitchen was nice and clean, so I padded into my studio from the living room and grabbed a brand new block of watercolor paper and one of those gorgeous Pigma Graphic markers I love to use for neurographic drawing.

If you have an interest, there's lots of information available on neurographic work, and methods vary according to who is doing or teaching the concepts. I tend to like learning the rules about various subjects/techniques and lots of times I enjoy bending or breaking them, as I love to be creative in many ways without too many firm guidelines. So I'll share my process here, though it does deviate from the formal procedures developed and taught by Pavel Piskarev.

Once I had settled back into my comfy chair in the living room, I left the telly on but turned the sound down low so it would feel comforting but not distracting. I lit one small beeswax candle because I think having the elements around (fire, earth, air, water) invites inspiration. Generally I sit at my drafting table with its efficient task lighting and proper seating for most of my artwork, but the fun thing about neurographic drawing is that it can be done in very informal settings. So, using a pillow to prop my watercolor block upon my lap, I followed some of the rules as I began crossing the page with simple looping lines traveling in various directions.

Remember doing this as a kid?

I've been working on a series of paintings based on my own style of neurographic drawing and the series is called Love Prayers. Right now there are almost 10 paintings "finished" and about 20 more waiting to be done. I write the ideas for new Love Prayers in a text file and pick out whatever seems like it wants to fit once I've done about this much loose work (photo above). But last night I knew I wanted to do the one that says, "Sometimes I just wanna go to a very high place," so I deviously drew my starting lines with that in mind. I liked the subliminal message of rising above all the negative B.S. we're dealing with on our beautiful planet right now - so many of us are doing that any which way we can and I'm right there with ya. Well HA! HA! HA!

Ya see, this is the magic of art: it has a mind of its own! And the best laid plans, even those made with precision and knowledge based on the application of rules - are not completely predictable! So I continued, still thinking I would place objects as originally intended (a person standing with their hands folded and their head sort of tilted to the side, on top of her high place - the mountains). And the rule abiding part of this is of course, to round out the parts where the lines meet. So I did.

All points nicely rounded.

As I looked at it after rounding out the sharp corners, a different image implanted itself in my mind. The one shape that inspired this image is the central one that just begged to be the person's chest. And above it, the face, and it looked like the arms were spread out - no folded hands at all! So I worked on the chest first, then the face, then the outstretched arms.

She looks at this point like she's standing,
 looking down upon us, and I wondered
if she was asking me to draw her wearing a tutu.

My female figures nearly always have boobs. 

At this point I'm worried about that loop that interrupts the flow of her outstretched arm, but with art I've learned to play instead of worry, so I just let it tell me what it wanted to be, and TA DA, we got a gorgeous dragonfly up there in the sky with her!

She's becoming....

So now she's got hair, hands, legs, shoes, her dragonfly, and a voice she's using to let us know what she's thinking. At this point I didn't like the hands, but they didn't tell me what they wanted for finishing until the very last. And I was surprised that she's not standing at all, but sitting on top of her mountains.

Ah, her happy place is becoming populated.

Along with her friend the dragonfly, she now has her hometown among the mountains, and it includes a church with a graveyard. Why? Because she's meditating and getting in touch with her Higher Sources and Lovies in their Heavens! So she's in a high place in more ways than one. She's up on top of the mountains, but also way high up and in touch with the Celestial Beings. And what is in the sky up there with her? The sun of course! She's so happy she's radiating love from her heart out into the universe.

All the things!

And of course her universe includes the stars and moon and Celestial light from above, and love, and her hands finally told me what they wanted - that middle finger gently touching the thumb to indicate that she's meditating.

It'll "read" better when it's painted. And it'll be gorgeous. Can't wait to get started applying those irresistible colors! I'll post some more when it's done.

So I'm a project person rather than a "clock" person, and I tend to work until the work tells me it's at a stopping place. I knew the drawing for this one was done because it was ready for me to sign, and I always do that last. So at about 5 a.m. I decided to wind down and go to bed, but took a little extra time to download photos and crop them cause I knew I'd be sharing this with you on the blog today. 

I tucked myself into bed after the first birds started to sing the trees awake, and the first fingers of dawn snuck through the lace curtains in my room. Sweet sleeps came along with dreams of the colors I'll be playing with very soon, and I didn't get up until 1 p.m. If I'd gone to bed "on time" like a "civilized" person, I'm pretty sure this little gem would never have been born because the peace of the night is marvelous and I feel blessed to be able to enjoy it at last, with no clocks to do other than sing their chiming songs to me. Time, it is quite precious indeed.

But Lord, I'm grateful there will be no pop quizzes today, cause I'm tired! This kind of silly, fun, stylized artwork gives me so much good energy and I'm very grateful for that too! May you experience the good energies of creativity in your days no matter what you find yourself doing XO

Namaste,
~Jen




Wednesday, January 8, 2025

Cupcake Day and Time Travel

January 9th is my sweet daughter's transition day to True Home, her "death" day, her exit from this planet Earth in physical form, her metamorphosis into her Soul Self. I call it Cupcake Day because my husband and I always get a single cupcake which we share together before dinner in Sweet Jessie's honor, along with a glass of Cupcake wine (yep, it's a brand), because I made her cupcakes for her birthday and she loved them, so we honor her on both her Earth birthday and her Celestial birthday with a cupcake and her special wine. We light candles and wish her happy journeys and adventures in her Heaven. We celebrate all the things she can now experience and accomplish without the limitations of Earth. We celebrate all she experienced and created while she was here.

The beginning XO! My gigglepuss!

She exists. Yep she does, still lively and lovely and very much with me, perhaps in some ways closer than when we existed in this place at the same time. Though I am still here in my little old Earth body, and she no longer needs hers - I feel the missing of the ways we were, and for some years this was oh so painful I didn't think I could go on being here without her. But as time passed and I continued to learn, learn, learn from many sources, I found ways to connect with her so strongly that the missing is just plain gone for the time we're together and my heart becomes filled up completely with love and peace and joy.

Speaking of time, I have spent time watching various interesting movies and one of these is called Dimensions, which I was able to stream on YouTube. It is a poignant tale of a scientist's endeavor to build a time machine so that he can go back and change an accident that happened in his youth, costing the life of someone very dear to him. He struggles with all manner of cumbersome challenges, including the equipment itself as he tries to build his time machine, as well as political and social control of his endeavors. 

It occurs to me that it might be helpful to some to talk a bit about time travel and our inherent gifts as human beings, since I have found that we have already been given, by our Creator, the gift of time travel, and we do not need any heavy equipment to do it. We also have been given by our Creator the gift of the ability to play in a multitude of universes, also without heavy equipment, universes in which anything and everything we can imagine, we get to experience. It is worth noting that our physical brain does not know the difference between experiencing things in our imagination (also a Celestial gift - the imagination) and what actually happens in reality. This is why athletes are taught to use positive visualization before they attempt to achieve their goals, and why research shows that our scientists can measure the difference in results between those who do use visualization building confidence through positive belief in Self and abilities vs. those who do not, instead cultivating doubt within themselves, thereby creating little success in their endeavors. Personal belief is a powerful creative force, and we get to choose it!

In my book, which I was compelled to write after my daughter's passing, Coming Alive After Death: Recovery from Grief, I talk about what I learned about time travel, the ability we all have to connect with loved ones who have passed on, and how we can do that with no props, and no special education the minute we decide to use our inherent, "God-given" gifts. It's like sunshine for the soul.

In my book I talk about physics, quantum physics, quantum mechanics, and connecting with the Akasha, which are just big words and complex concepts for rather beautiful and to some, mysterious processes natural to life on Earth. Processes that belong to us all. Processes that have been hidden from us or misrepresented by those who wish to keep us from attaining authenticity and empowerment, as well as a great deal of peace, serenity, and autonomy, in order to further their power mongoring and control of masses of people to further their own abusive agendas. These four subjects, as well as others that have been reliably researched and documented, confirm that there is a gorgeous melding between what we define as "science," and what some cultures know (and we can all discover) as an accessible sacred reality with much power, freedom, satisfaction and love bigger than we've ever imagined here.

On this day, January 9th, each year, I like to use my inherent gifts to commune with the essence of my daughter, in the ways I talk about in my book, and it is so loving, healing, special, and uplifting, that I want to share it. I encourage you to check out the book - you can get it for nearly nothing on Kindle, but I would recommend the paperback because the design of the book itself is beautiful, and you might enjoy having it on hand to grab and flip to whatever page it wishes to share with you on any given day at any given time - you'll find it rather surprising how if you open it at random the passage on that particular page will address something that you may have been worrying about or something that you have wondered about and the information you encounter can feel very uplifting. The purpose of this blog post is in no way to make book sales though I care very much about people having the opportunity to add to their repertoire of tools to assimilate deep grief. I care very much that if even one single sentence brings even one single person from the brink of that very dark place where I found myself at first to the light and the beauty of ongoing life and love, then our hearts will sing and my job is done.

Sweet memories of good times XO!

I won't go into too much detail here because it's all in my books and other blog posts (access to the blog is completely free) on how to meditate, how to write and journal with your loved ones, and the ways we can learn to "time travel" through meditation, dreams and other ways. Our body is our equipment once we learn how to use it. Our body is a combination of physical mixed with spirit, and our loved ones who've transitioned are simply spirit without the limitation of the corporeal body, so that spirit-to-spirit connection (or soul-to-soul; mind/heart, etc. if you prefer to use different descriptions) is and always has been natural to the human condition. Connection with loved ones who've passed on can also come about while journaling or writing with them, and surprisingly, connection can happen spontaneously when we are simply being creative, with our focus on the moment, regardless of what we're actually doing, which is why music and art are very strong facilitators for engagement since when we are focused on the process of creation (music, art, or any other creative activity) we tend to shut down our "logical, thinking" minds and lean into intuition, or what I sometimes call "listening," which is the process of receiving guidance from higher (Celestial) sources.

What may hinder connection from happening is when we are in great distress and we lament and allow our doubts and fears to subsume all other emotion. The reason this hinders connection with our loved ones who have passed is because their natural vibration is very high, and when we experience negative emotions our own vibration becomes very low, so they have trouble creating the flow that happens when "like attracts like." The higher we make our vibration, (in peace, happiness, gratitude, etc.) the easier it is for them to join with us when we invite that special connection. If we're in distress, sometimes they'll flicker the lights to let us know they're near, or mess with our electronics in clearly unusual ways, because one of the first things they learn to play with to communicate with us is electricity since it has a high vibration, just like theirs so it is easiest for them to use electricity as a tool. These are what we call signs. In my books, I talk about the signs I received very shortly after my daughter's passing and for several months, even years after her passing, before I learned how to connect whenever I wanted to, as you can also do. 

I have found it is really healthy and good to feel this loving connection with my daughter and others I am close to who have passed. It makes me laugh. It helps me through challenges. It gives me strength. It helps me relax into a knowing that life does go on, yep it does, and it is so, so beautiful. For those who are more interested in the details of how I learned to connect with my daughter through journaling, you might enjoy Letters from Celestial Jess: Afterlife Messages from My Daughter.

So on this cupcake day, I celebrate not only the beautiful connection with my daughter and other loved ones wherever they may enjoy being in our Universe, but the gorgeous inherent gifts we all are born with that we can learn to use in ways that uplift us and keep us strong and very much connected to our loved ones, higher sources, and Celestial guidance, however we choose to define these things.

My beauty while she was here.
She's reading poetry aloud to us XO!

Cupcake Day 2025, with you my lovely,
thank you for being with us in love and light XO

Cheers my lovely Sweet Jess! I love you forever and a day. Thank you for loving me right back XO!

Mama

Namaste




Tuesday, December 10, 2024

Best Ever Christmas Gifts, Given and Received

 

Lil Bear loving the magic XO
Our pup, Lil Bear has found a cozy place to take a snooze - right under the lovely sparkle of the Christmas tree. We had the most perfect day to pick it out at a tree farm nearby, waited for the unseasonably warm weather and enjoyed 50 plus degrees of gorgeous breezes while we strolled through the fragrant trees awaiting their new caretakers and festive decorations. We brought her home on Sunday and she's most happy to be here, and will also be happy to contribute to helping the Earth after her festivities, as we all do at some point.

We've enjoyed collecting our ornaments over a 22-year period. Some were given to us, but most we picked out together, one or two each year. Because they're fragile, we wrap them in soft tissue paper and put them into bunches of little boxes, since they didn't all originally come in their own box. This year it was quite amusing  as we unpacked them, to find that the pirate and the mermaid have been sleeping together all year in the same little box and we're not quite sure if Neptune is upset about that and wanting to punch pirate in the nose, so we hung Lynx nearby to referee. 

The Pirate!


The Mermaid! (Neptune's daughter?)

Salty old Neptune himself, and the Lynx!

We have a good time while hanging the ornaments for sure. And yep, that pickle is hiding somewhere! We'll ask one of the kids to find it so they can have good luck all year - you know the legend about finding the pickle don't you? We'll put the tree skirt properly around the bottom soon; these days we do the decorating in shifts, not marathon sessions, lol.

So as we were decorating I was reminded of Christmases past, this year being rather bittersweet, having my mother and my sister in their Heavens now. Wow I loved the giving all those years, and I love the thoughtfulness behind the receiving too.

One of my ever so favorite Christmas gifts that I received was when I was about 11 years old. My parents gave me a HUGE box of really good quality ART SUPPLIES! Oh my goodness, when I opened it I knew in my heart I was opening a portal to a world where I belonged and I cried happiness tears just looking at it. It was full of colors of all kinds and glorious papers, paints and brushes and palette and tools and pencils and just everything an artist could want to play with. And that I did for countless hours, not just through that holiday, but for the rest of my entire life. With that gift, I learned to cultivate my imagination, which is without limitation, and what a joy it has always been, not just for me, but for others as well, which is an added blessing! What a lovely gift, which I will never forget. Thanks Mom and Dad!

And the gift that came to mind that was most joyous to give was the one that made my mother and sister and me howl with laughter so hard we just couldn't stop. We had a florist in town, and I LOVED to shop there, right up the street and around the corner from where we live. It was called Queen Anne's Lace and never was there another flower shop like it! The owner, a gorgeous free spirit woman, had not only a dog in her shop, but also a parrot! Yep! And her shop was the most fun experience each and every time I went in. Her flowers were always beautiful with lots to choose from, and they always smelled divine. She also carried loads of other kinds of gifts. 

So for my mother and my sis and myself this holiday years ago, I picked out three little puppets my gypsy florist had hanging from the ceiling. One was all dressed in white with feather boa and angel wings. She was elegant and ethereal and I knew just right for my sis. Another was bawdy and bold, dressed in purple and red, with an attitude and lovely laughing face to match. She had twinkly eyes and I just knew her spirits were high and jolly, and she was just right for my mom. The last was a bright-eyed little lady all dressed in yellow, with a gardening hat on and daisies all over her. She was an Earth girl and happy as the afternoon sun in spring. She was just right for me.

I was pleased when I bought them, and I decided to let everyone choose whichever one they might want. So I didn't wrap them tight, I tucked them all into a big bag and each was cushioned with soft colorful tissue paper. When I got to my mother's home, with my sis there too, I handed the bag to mom and said, "You choose first!" Welp when she came upon the bawdy bold red feather boa puppet she absolutely belted out that Mama laugh that only she could do over the years, and it didn't stop until the tears ran from her eyes. So we started laughing too. Then Mellie, my sis picked out hers, and I knew she'd go for the elegant one - they fell in love, and the laughter continued until our tummies hurt. I got my daisy girl, and we all had some wine to celebrate, and it is a gift I'll never forget, for it wasn't so much the things themselves, but the joy of sharing them and the laughter they brought that is most precious. Each of us hung our puppets up in our homes. My mom had hers in her sunporch all the days of her life and I'm so glad it brought her joy. I think my sis put hers in her home study, where she had a lot of other beautiful and elegant things, and I put mine in my bedroom, watching over me while I slept. 

So at this time of year, when my Lovies are in their Heavens and I miss them so much, it is wonderful to remember these special moments that gave and kept on giving for a long, long time. Even now. 

I can add that one of my favorite gifts from my beloved sis was a pair of softly lined little black ankle UGH boots, the Christmas before she died, as if she were saying to me, "Keep on going my sweet," so I do. And I just love tucking my feet into those soft boots and with every step I carry them with me, my Loves.

Happy Holidays to you, and may treasured memories keep your hearts warm.

Namaste,

~Jen

Thursday, August 15, 2024

Inheritance, Priceless!

Mom, Dad, and Melinda, my sister XO

I've been away from my blog for a few months. Sincere apologies for the hiatus, and thanks for your patience and understanding XO. The reason for the gap is that my beloved sister passed in September of last year, and my mother passed in May of this year. Both had been struggling for quite a while and for that time I tried to love each as best I could through their challenges. Their deaths were a double whammy that took quite a bit of processing, some good therapy, and lots of love from friends and family to get to a place of peace, nevermind feeling joy and laughter and letting go of so very very much. 

But I've found that the Universe and my angels work in the most beeeautiful ways, so I'm going to share that with you so you can experience some of it with your Lovies in their Heavens, or create some love of your own to leave behind when it's your turn. I doubt you'll need tissues for this post unless it's to wipe away tears of laughter. Settle in for an excellent story, one of the best ever. Make some tea, or have a glass of wine, it's ever so long but well worth the read indeed.

Mom was 90 and 1/2 when she passed, and she suffered terribly for quite a while, though she kept her mind as sharp as she could, and she kept her sense of humor as much as she could for as long as she could. So when I had to go over to the lovely condo she'd lived in for the past 12 or 15 years to choose what I wanted to bring home with me I didn't think I could do it. I was pretty sure I'd just fall apart. 

You know how we "air-talk" with our Lovies in Heaven? Well I air-talked with all my girls, my Mom, my sis, and my daughter, and I said, "I need your help with this. I need you to lend me all your love and serenity and peace and bring me strength to keep my wits about me because this is way too hard." And this is what happened. I swear it was as if my Mom was right there next to me guiding me and my sis was right there with her. Jess was doing the music.

My sweet hubby and I got into the car after I'd procrastinated long enough, and as soon as we sat down a song came on (we know the spirits/angels use music to communicate with us), and it was Bette Midler's song that I call "God is watching us," but the actual title is "From a Distance." Even now it gives me those lovely good goosebumps that let me know I'm receiving spiritual confirmation - here is her beautiful song - From a Distance

This was so comforting because there's something highly uncomfortable about going to your Mom's home, knowing she's not there, and knowing it will be sold, and all that she loved and surrounded herself with, all those years of memories and experiences would be part of the past. Owie! So I let the music comfort me and enjoyed the beauty of the trees and homes and people living in my sweet little town all the way there, traveling that familiar route that would never again feel the same.

Of course we had a key, so we let ourselves in, and I said, air-talking again, "Hi Sweet Mom." And yep, I cried when we stepped through the front door. I told myself crying was okay, healthy, even, and mopped with tissues, which graduated to paper towels, as I stood a bit frozen, looking around. The whole place was all jumbled up since the family member who'd been designated Executor had been working to organize and clear things out. So that was unsettling as her home was no longer as she had arranged it. 

I turned to the first room, the front bedroom, which had been a "spare room" with a pull-out couch and other lovely furniture, most of which was gone (in storage for other family members, all good). I just stood there looking at the humongous pile of books left on the couch because one thing Mom did as long as she could was read. She read and read and read after she lost mobility of her body, and she LOVED a good story. So many, many of our phone calls were joyous times where she would tell me stories about her life, her loves (only one man, and that's my Dad, who's also in Heaven with her, but she loved a lot of other things and people too), and her adventures. WOW she had a very exciting, challenging life, since Dad was a civil engineer with Exxon and from the beginning of their marriage they traveled all over the globe where he spearheaded lots of different projects which are to this day making huge, positive differences in the lives of the communities he worked in. I am proud to be his daughter.

I did something I had NEVER done, because this was Mom's private abode, and these were her things. I went through the drawers of a bureau that was still there (will be auctioned along with a few other things, and yep, that feels weird, but I prayed that every single thing that ends up in auction goes with blessings for those who re-home these treasures so they feel joy and love and enjoy giving them new life and appreciation). 

I had made a list of things I wanted to look for, and I had talked out loud with my husband about them on the porch as we do a lot of talking on the porch, always have and always will. One of my happy places for sure. So I had this little list - a photo of my grandmother and grandfather, a particular photo of my sister all dressed in evening finery and playing the piano at a formal event we had attended, and Rob and I had talked of other things, such as, "How old was the oldest member of your family?" Mine was 102, and that was my Dad's grandmother Ellen who loved art and pottery and creativity and I still have a lovely "cabbage bowl" she painted and glazed, which I served home-made Thousand Island salad dressing in one year for one of our many family barbecues. 

Great Grandmother Ellen's beautiful creation!

All nicely glazed inside too!

Isn't she just beautiful?! Great Grandmother Ellen XO

My Great Grandmother was amazing. She never remarried after her husband was killed in the war. They'd only been married three years and she loved him and stayed loyal to him for the rest of her life. Raised her son on her own. She lived in a one-room cabin with no running water and no electricity for most of her life. Had an outhouse and chamber pot. And she'd cook a chicken for supper and store it in her oven (with the heat off) for three days, snacking on the leftovers with no worries whatsoever. Wonder if she knew something we don't...I know she knew how to be fierce and gentle at the same time.

We also talked about when we lived in Japan and my parents bought my sister and me the full-on Japanese traditional wear, including the kimono, all the accessories to go with it, including the shoes (called zories), and the "socks" made especially for wearing with zories since these shoes are made like verrrry fancy flip-flops with the toe thing so that the "socks" have that shape for your foot, space for the big toe and all the other toes go into the other side, and they have the most beautiful brass fasteners that slip into embroidered stitches to hold them on. They're made of silk. Very fancy. I came across the "socks" but the kimonos and all that good stuff were gone. My sis and I were 6 and 4 years old when my parents dressed us like that, which I'm sure they did for special occasions only. We were occasionally allowed to put those things on later when we were in the U.S. but not really allowed to "play" with them. I liked that it showed my mother's embrace of all the various cultures we found ourselves immersed in during our travels. And there were a few other things on my list that were special.

So I was in that room looking through those drawers and what was the very first thing my hand was guided to? An old gold 9 x 12 envelope, which, when I opened it, held THAT photo of my grandparents! And what was the second thing I encountered? Loose in the drawer just floating around, OMG! A snipped out newspaper article about my Great Grandmother Ellen - oldest resident at nursing home dies at age 102! WHAT?! Yep. They were all with me, right there - my angels. So I put those special things aside to bring home.

It's THAT photo that I wanted of my Gammy and Grandaddy and TA DA!
There it was right at my fingertips in the most unlikely drawer!

Oh also I came across a love note from my father to my mother when she was heading into yet another challenge, in which he said, "darling, with all my heart, mind, soul, and body, I love you." Oh my heart! I carried it around with me for several days and now it's in one of my treasure boxes. Sigh....


I love how he not just underlined but added little circles,
which I often do in my journals, didn't know he did it too!

Ah such sweet love, "with all of my heart, mind, soul, and body, I love you." Now that's some lovely encouragement for what she was going through at the time, which I don't know any details of.

So here comes the magic. Someone who's 90 or even 80 and struggling with physical challenges isn't always the sunshine kid on the block, understandably. But there was a time when my Mom was truly happy, and more creative than I knew. I came across a letter she wrote to her parents, and out of all the correspondence in that place that was put into garbage bags, THIS letter was among some papers that had not been trashed. And it is AMAZING. It's Mom and Melinda, both of my lovely recently passed angels in their glories, and reading it, I felt Mom was showing me what she made of her life before her hardships, and that's the key phrase. What SHE made of it.

Incidentally, Mom always apologized to my sister about her birthplace, which was Elizabeth, New Jersey, because her other two kids were born exotically overseas, my brother in Malaysia, and me in Rotterdam, Holland (now called the Netherlands). Mom and Dad had various periods of time in the U.S. between overseas trips over the years. Get a load of the old Western Union telegram they sent to let Mom's parents know about my brother's birth!

Yep, no phones that far away, no internet,
no reliable communication but Western Union was there!

I will upload photos of her letter about my sister so you can see the beautiful cursive handwriting we were all taught. And my mother and father and grandparents were taught so precisely you can hardly tell their handwriting apart. (I learned to write cursive in England when we lived there for two years so I was taught differently and my handwriting doesn't look like theirs, much to the frustration of my teachers here who tried to correct it but their efforts didn't take, HA!) But I'll also retype it for those who might find it hard to read. This letter is HILARIOUS because my mother wrote the whole thing from my sister's point of view, as if my baby sister were writing it. Such imagination! It's Mom's storytelling talents shining brilliantly! Here we go:

Mom wrote on the front "From Melinda" and herein lies the magic.
Notice the 3 cent stamp? HA!

Page 1. You can click on the image to enlarge it.
Isn't her handwriting so pretty?!

And here is what it says:

Saturday afternoon - Feb 1

Dear Gammie and Grand-daddy,

I just woke up from my nap. Daddy is spray-painting the trunks in the living room, and the paint smells so bad that Mommie and I came in here in the bedroom and shut the door. I told Mommie to bring pen and ink so I could dictate this to her while we have plenty of time.

Guess what I surprised Mommie and Daddy with this morning? My first toophy!!! 'Course I knew all the time it was coming in, but I tried to be so good and I didn't fuss one time this whole week. Mommie discovered it when she was feeding me my breakfast - she kept hitting it with the spoon. Finally she stuck her finger in my mouth and next thing I knew she was yelling at the top of her lungs for Daddy. He jumped out of bed and came running fast as he could! Well, I never saw such excitement in my life. I didn't...

Page 2


know my toophy was so important but it must be, cause all the neighbors have come to admire it! (Aunt Edna, Martha, and Aunt Pat.) I'm beginning to feel right proud, too, and I try to grin as often as I can so everyone can see my big accomplishment.

If you wonder what's wrong with Mommie's writing, it's my fault. I keep trying to see for myself if she's writing what I tell her to. They're both sitting on the bed, and I crawl over to her at least ten times a minute - just checking!

I can get about real good now. I don't crawl the usual way. I drag my tummy along and use my right foot to push - if you see what I mean. It sure gets me where I want to go! How I love to explore down on the floor. (That's where I am now - Mommie just put me down so I won't tear her paper.)

Much Later

Mommie decided this afternoon the....

Page 3

paint smell was too strong for us, so we went down to Aunt Edna's and spent the whole afternoon and had supper (Mommie cooked theirs down there and Aunt Edna ate with them). Daddy had opened all the windows while he was painting, and the house was so cold. My pajamas with the feet sure felt good when I went to bed.

(Mom's NOTE: Melinda is asleep now, but she told me what to write, so I'll finish now!)

I had the very best time at Aunt Edna's today. I stayed on the floor for the whole afternoon (her rug is so soft) and went from one end of the living room to the other. Gee - I got dirty and how nice it was! Mommie gave me a real good sponge bath before I ate supper, and changed my clothes. I felt kind of funny having a bath in someone else's house!

After I ate, Mommie sat me in my...

Page 4

bath tub on Aunt Edna's counter and I really found some interesting new things. I took all the tops off the canisters. Evidently I wasn't supposed to do that, because Mommie moved them away before I had a chance to taste all the funny things I found. She gave me some spoons and a pan to play with. Isn't it a wonderful noise when metal spoons bang on pans?

Life is so interesting now. I have such fun looking at all the things Mommie and Daddy have. I don't know why they keep saying "no-no" to me all the time. All I'm doing is looking and learning.

Did Mommie tell you that Sharon and her mother and daddy moved today? Mommie explained to me that their lease expired, so they had to move. I didn't care much, because Sharon wasn't much fun to play with. She's....

Page 5

just a baby! I have loads of fun with my best friend Patricia. She can't crawl or sit up yet, but she tells me she's just lazy! She just doesn't know what she's missing.

Grand-daddy, I hope the slide at Meadow Creek is starting to look better. You are working too hard! Please be careful and do try to get plenty of rest.

Gammie, Mommie has told me all about all the new clothes you're sending me. They're so excited to get the packages. The snow-suit, galoshes, and shoes came Thursday. I've already worn my new blue-checked panties and I just love them.  My tummy is so fat my other rubber pants are about to get too little. Mommie called me a butterball. I don't know what a butterball is. But I know what a ball is, 'cause I have two that I play with all the time now. They're rubber balls, not butterballs, though.

Page 6

Anyway, we all love my navy blue snowsuit and it'll fit me next year if I can just grow "up" instead of "wide." We like the shoes and galoshes, too. Daddy says he can't wait to see me in the galoshes!

Mommie and Daddy have told me we're going to take a long, long trip soon. I don't know what it's all about. I wish we were coming to see you. I would love to show you all my tricks - and I'd like to play with Smokey Joe (the dog).

And another trick she did often was take her shoes off as soon as Mom
had put them on! Here she is with the laces undone and also taken right out of the shoe.

And here are those sweet little shoes, which I have today.
Thanks for saving them Mom.

I wasn't going to tell Mommie, but she held my mouth open today (I wish I had some top toophies so I could have bitten her!) and discovered I'm going to cut a second toophy very soon. It makes me spit up a little, but it doesn't hurt. I try to be a good girl most of the time, but there's so much to see and do. Did you ever eat a magazine? Daddy's....

Page 7

"Posts" (magazines) taste so good. So does the newspaper.

I found out not long ago that I can make funny noises. I can scream and squeal real good, and I can whisper too. I'd rather scream and squeal! Mommie laughs at me when I get real quiet when the TV singing commercials come on. I know a lot of the different ones now, and listen and watch my favorite ones.

Dr. Baruch scratched me with a pin and made a great big sore come on my leg. It's getting well now. Mommie got a cellophane shield to put on it and maybe one of these days the scab will come off and I can take a bath again. I have missed my bath. I love the big tub Mommie bathes me in now.

Yep, when we're traveling we get a bath sometimes in the kitchen sink!
All good!

Well, Gammie and Grand-daddy, I will have to stop dictating to Mommie...

Page 8

now and go to bed. I will write again soon and tell you all about that new place we're going. I know I'll be the best-dressed baby in Holland, thanks to you two. Mommie and Daddy surely do appreciate all you've done for us - and I do too.

Nighty-night. Please pull Smokey's tail for me and give his ears a good tug.

Smokey Joe is being held by my Gammy on the right XO

Mommie and Daddy send their best love to you and here's a big hugs and kiss XOXO for both of you.

Oodles and oodles of love to my sweet, sweet Gammie and Grand-daddy - 

Melinda Page

Close-up of Melinda's "mark" XO


Ah, communication in those days. Mom desperately wanted to talk
with her parents before embarking on the long trip to the Netherlands.


You can see how strongly she felt.
Anything to get in touch and please reverse the charges!

A couple more treats for you that I came upon: Mom was a TREE HUGGER! Yeppers!

Look at that adorable girl just huggin' away!
We had more in common than I knew!

Mom, Dad, Gammy (left) and Grandaddy (right)
very early in their relationship. War years,
and isn't my Dad handsome in his uniform?!

You know what's going on here with Dad and Melinda?


Eskimo kisses! (Rubbing the noses across each other).
We did butterfly kisses too, which is eyelashes fluttering against the cheek XO

SO MUCH LOVE and happy times!
Let's celebrate those and hold them close!

So, after this long post, I'd like to encourage you to be creative and show appreciation for what your family members have done for you and with you. Have FUN with it - 'cause you never know how long that can last and how many hearts it may touch and inspire along the way.

Thanks for checking in. More to come, as always...big blessings and hugs coming your way from us.

Namaste,

~Jen