Celebrating Mom on her Celestial Birthday

 

Who knew she was a tree hugger like me?

Two years ago today Mom graduated to her Heaven so I’m taking the opportunity to share a bit about her and celebrate her being here. I was very fortunate to inherit some family photos, and this is one of her way back in the 1940s or so when she was a child. Precious girl! I love the crinkly edges of this type of photo, popular in those days : ) (Click on the images to enlarge them)

Look at those ringlets! 

Mom was an only child, and her mother doted on her, using her awesome skills to make stylish clothing, and she spent time creating the ringlets in Mom’s hair, which was done by tying and twisting strips of cotton while the hair was wet. After it dried it came out pretty much like this!

I’m sure her dance card was full that night!

Mom had an active social life, but she only had eyes for my Dad. They were high school sweethearts and their marriage lasted for 52 years until his passing. Back in those days they used dance cards, which had tiny spaces for the men to fill out their names for each dance. Mom told me she only let Dad fill in all her spaces, and that’s pretty much how it was for all 52 years XO

Bathing beauties!

Mom told me many times that Dad fell in love with her for her beautiful legs, HA! Yep, she had ‘em! Here she’s sunbathing with a friend. She never did like to swim because the polio epidemic struck around the time she’d have been doing that and during those years, nobody went in the water!

The rocking chair!

In my home today, I have this rocking chair that’s been in the family for about 100 years. The year Mom’s sitting in it is 1948. Every single member of my family has sat in it at one time or another, so it’s very precious to have in my home. Even my son’s wife with my brand new granddaughter, shortly after she was born! It’s been recovered at least three times and has a horse-hair stuffed seat.

Mellie and me all dressed up.

Mom kept going to parties and dances all her life (one time she even danced with a king!) and she saved her dresses. As my sis and I grew older we loved to play dress-ups and Mom would let us have some of her party dresses to play with. Aren’t we just the cat’s meow?! That’s me on the left.

The three siblings

Melinda, Jennifer, and David. All I wanted for Christmas that year was yep, my two front teeth!

The wedding parties

Congrats Mom and Dad! We are just twinkles in their eyes at that time, lol. My beloved Granddaddy and Gammy on the left, Mom’s parents. And my Dad’s beautiful mother and his father on the right. Such a happy union!

So today, in honor of my Mom, we are remembering some of the sweet things about her and one of those was that she loved chili dogs, though she was a marvelous cook and hosted many fancier dinner parties. She never served chili dogs at home, but when she moved to State College after Dad’s passing she’d get a hankering for one and my sis would take her to the Dairy Queen for a “fix.” Rob and I often made them at home, and that is what we’re doing today!

Love ya Mom! Sweet adventures in your Heaven with all the Lovies! XO

Cupcake Day 2026 and Near Death Experiences

Most of my family when times were pretty good.
(Son Torey was out of the country and my granddaughter was just a twinkle in her parents' eyes XO)

January 9th is my "gauntlet-ending day." For me, the gauntlet starts when my culture's societal frenzy begins to bloom around Halloween (supposedly the day we honor the dead, but instead we hand out candy), segues into the now non-politically correct "Thanksgiving," and holidays that have been traditionally celebrated in the earlier parts of my life such as Christmas (historically beleaguered with political and patriarchal manipulation), and now, with my mixed family cultures, Hanukkah. So all the jolly holidays feel somewhat surreal because I know what's coming, hence my gauntlet is something I navigate carefully during those celebration times. Once I'm through them and done with the "death day on the 9th," I can more easily flow into the lovely routine of life without the pressure to party hardy. To "run the gauntlet" describes a test of bravery and courage imposed on others that many do not survive, and if you do, you are sometimes granted various privileges.

January 9th is the day that three very strong, very polite policemen came to my house, rang my doorbell, and with hats in hand, announced that they had news for me. This news ended up turning my world upside down. I invited them into my home where they kindly and gently let me know that my recently turned 26-year-old daughter was found deceased in her bed, in her apartment, 3,000 miles away from where I was at the time.

My daughter was dying but we didn't know it.

The twelve doctors we worked with over a period of a year and a half said she would recover, but she died. Neurological complications as a result of of Lyme disease, they proclaimed on the death certificate.

That was in 2015. Now it is 2026, and though no one at all called me or mentioned my daughter's name, told stories about my beloved, or even wished to hear some, because much of my family is in heaven now and I am old, I understand that one of the privileges I've earned is the ability to help others who are deeply grieving. So with that in mind, I write this post with love and affection for those reading.

One of the gifts I have received this year in the quest to settle my heart with the passing of my beloved daughter is the discovery of something even better than the grief groups that were somewhat helpful a couple of years after her passing. That is the stories of those who have experienced death but lived to tell the tale. This is known as having a "near death experience" (NDE). There is also a wealth of great information on the internet about this, plus online groups you can join, though I will caution anyone exploring that unfortunately predators (those after your money) abound where there is vulnerability, and grief makes many of us extremely vulnerable until we find our footing. So in your explorations, choose wisely those based in love, and those which empower you and help you to step into your own authenticity rather than those that make you dependent on an outside source.

This brings me to mention my love of movies, and the fact that I love to collect dvds so that I can watch whatever I want whenever I want every time I want, especially the older stories. So my husband and I were watching one that I was recently interested in seeing again - I had seen it years ago and thought it would be fun to watch it again. That movie is called Contact, with Jodie Foster and Michael McConaughey, and it came out in 1997. 

Wow, times have changed! So have my personal experiences, which have taught me that no one needs any kind of equipment to travel in space or time, and that there is no barrier at all to each individual's ability to connect with higher sources and beloveds who have passed. There is so much published research to back this up, most conducted in about the past 50 years though the phenomenon of connecting spiritually is an ancient practice, one I consider a gift from our Creative Source, or what some call God.

So as I was watching this old movie, Contact, I said to my hubby, "They do have it right in the end, though they don't explain it, and they have the method of travel quite wrong." Spoiler alert - Jodie's character's experience is totally personal and meaningful as she achieves contact with her deceased father. As I think about the premise of this movie I'm pretty sure that each individual's experience as they learn to connect spiritually with what they define as "higher sources" or with their beloveds who have passed is going to be different from the experiences of others, though some similarities may exist, many of which research describes across cultures and throughout many years of time as we know it here on Earth. 

Which brings me back to my Sweet Jess and Cupcake Day, because some of the things she's taught me are right in line with the similarities that are now widely available for those interested in exploring death, such as the cyclical nature of life (reincarnation), the fact that there is no judgement after we pass save for that we impose upon ourselves, that the notions of time and space are limited to the material plane of existence, that healing, learning and growing continue to happen after we pass from this Earth, and that there is only LOVE since the "place" we go to is one of Unity, not duality - which is an Earth construct.

So, when we put on our "what if" hats, we can talk about personal agendas in life, or what we might call our "missions" as we come into a human body (which is a mix of physical and spiritual).

I know from conversations with my daughter that one of her main "missions" in life was to be happy. "I just wanna be happy Mama," she said. And she received a lot of criticism and still does from others who believe that this is not enough. I know that one of my "missions" in life has always been to be free. And I know that one of my father's "missions" in life was to make his reputation one to be proud of, given that his family of origin had alcoholism and violence as an ongoing challenge that he vowed to overcome.

Jess being happy, she loved the holidays.

I know that my daughter experienced happiness and bliss, as well as self-doubt, sadness, and a whole host of emotions. I know that I have experienced freedom as well as limitation, both personally and institutionally/societally. I know that my father succeeded in building a reputation that was respected not only nationally but worldwide and much of what he built and constructed in his career as a brilliant civil engineer still enhances, protects, and empowers thousands of people across our beautiful planet. 

The human condition is such that in this world of duality we experience both negative and positive in our lives. And what comforts me most of all on Cupcake Day (and every day) is my understanding that my Sweet Jessica's life was completely enough, and perfect as she created and experienced it.

She was a photographer. This is one of her photos.
To me, it represents her delight.

I bring up the NDEs because another of the similarities that comes up in their stories is that thousands of individuals who have lived to tell the tale of their survival say, "I had a choice." 

Wow. Death is spiritually consensual - how's that for a totally wonderful concept?! 

What's fascinating is how many individuals relate that after their NDE they no longer have any fear whatsoever of death. And how many individuals relate that it is so beautiful and loving they did not wish to come back, but were sent back because their missions were not yet fulfilled (there is still "work" for them to do here according to their chosen spiritual agenda before coming in) or they had a very strong connection to beloved(s) here they were not ready to leave. Note: Have no doubt that your loved one(s) did not "leave you," as Sweet Jess shares with me how we're always connected on higher levels whether I choose to connect deliberately with her or not.

The research on NDEs includes stories of those who have experienced all manner of passing, such as illness, suicide, murder, accidents, sudden death, or slow death, etc.

So the reason I bring all this up on Cupcake Day is that I want to share with you some comfort in your journey of exploring "Where is my loved one? Are they okay? Do they love me? How do I continue without them here?" 

They are safe and well at what I call True Home, some might call it heaven. Yep, they're fine. Yep they love you, even when there was conflict in your relationship. 

Love! XO

You continue because their journey belongs to them and they did a fabulous job of being human. You continue because every day that you wake belongs to you for reasons that you chose and discovering those reasons is the very heart and spice of life. You continue because you are spirit mixed with physical just for a short time, and when you shed your Earth suit (the body) you will be Home as well, and fully able to connect, learn, share, grow, and experience life again in many forms, as you choose. 

One of Jessie's photos. Look at that little girl go!
Keep going.

You continue because all you have to do to connect with your beloved and the beautiful mysteries of this place and time is be still and listen with your heart.

Love heals. 

Nope, happiness is not a realistic or permanent state of being while we're here, but keep going and you might discover a foundation that is more solid than you ever imagined.

So we light my daughter's candle on her Cupcake to celebrate her L I V I N G both here and "there," and we do not mire ourselves in misery, for that is not what our beloveds wish for us, and hopefully it is not what we might wish for our beloveds upon our passing.

Happy Celestial Birthday Sweet Jess! 
We celebrate you always XO

So let us shine our light, straight from our hearts, both in darkness and as we find ourselves surrounded by the light of others in love and encouragement.

Sweet Jess, I love you forever and a day, as you know, and if I knew before it happened what would be in this life, I'd choose to do it all over again just to experience you being you. 

Jess being Jess. Isn't she beautiful?!
She says to me, Momma, you should see me now!
Because she loves what she calls her "light body."

Good job my Love. Thank you for your soft presence, humor, love, and encouragement as I carry on. XO

With love and blessings to all -

Namaste,

Jen