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| Arms wide open xo |
So as I was perusing the posts the other night, which is hard, sometimes I don't even know what to say, but I take a deep breath and try to help where I perceive I might be able to, I came upon a whole conversation thread from parents who have buried their children, and these parents are besieged by nightmares, they can't sleep, they are filled with anguish thinking of their children in the ground, out in the weather, cold, and lonely.
And in that thread other parents were expressing how their minds constantly go back into the trauma of the decline of their beautiful beloveds' bodies, either from sickness, or accident, or they can't get the cremation out of their minds, and it is soooooo traumatic for them. These are the people who go to work and paste on a smile, and when they go home in the evenings they find themselves in a world that they no longer want to belong to. I understand this after the passing of my beautiful daughter when she was 26.
So I posted. I just wrote straight from the heart as true and honest as I could, and the response has been overwhelming. It made me cry the next day, to read so many replies that said, "Thank you, I so needed to hear this today." And "I knew this but I so needed the reminder." I want very much for people not to get stuck in the trauma of death, because I feel very strongly that that is not what life is meant for. It is meant for ALL of us to discover our joys, to feel and express our passions, and to KNOW that at these deep levels, all is well.
So this is what I wrote:
Y'all are breaking my heart with the flashbacks and thoughts of your beloveds in the cold ground. My daughter died when she was 26, after being ill for a year and a half with untreated Lyme disease. Neuro disorders and liver failure finally ended it. It took me two years, but l sincerely want to share that I have found that she is well and happy in her new world and we do still have an amazing connection.
Two of my beloved friends gave me a journal, in a basket filled with really thoughtful things, and I didn't know what to do with it for several months after my daughter's passing. One day I was missing her too much and it hurt a lot so I wrote her a letter in that journal. I wrote like that a few times over a period of a few weeks, and then one night the thought came into my head - what if she wrote back?
So I just sat quietly and listened. And I started writing what came into my head and heart. I didn't question it or stop to think about it while I "heard" what I was writing. And after I finished I read it over and realized it was a very loving letter from her. We've been writing every few weeks/months for over four years. She died in 2015, but she is still very much alive and well in spiritual form.
For those stuck in thinking your beloved child is cold in the ground, they are not. That is just the "earth tool" that they shed when they went back Home from where we all come from. For those who are stuck in the trauma of the decline of that "tool," know that your beloved, the true essence of your beloved, is very much alive and well, and trying so hard to connect with you to let you know they're fine, and they love you and they're not suffering or in any kind of pain. They're surrounded with love in this gorgeous world of Unity from which we come to have adventures on Earth.
Unfortunately, we aren't taught much about the cycles of life, but so much research, true research has been done in the past 50-60 years, not only about near death experiences, but also about past life experiences and all of our tribal cultures and two-thirds of the world's cultures know that we cycle through many lives, together. We are eternal beings, made of the essence of the Whole, our Creator, God, whatever you want to call it, and knowing this, knowing that whenever our beloveds die, they haven't missed a single darned thing and they have already experienced all the milestones we care to count (graduation, marriage, children, etc.) and they will experience these things again, with us, as we choose where there's love, to have Earth experiences together again and again; we must set our hearts to rest and honor their leaving and know that nothing at all has gone undone, nothing at all is missed in their experience. It is perfect and their lives are whole and complete and we can honor that and celebrate the beauties as well as the challenges they experienced as we would wish others to celebrate ours.
We do not need to ever let go of them, because what we experienced together is, was, and always will be, but we need to step into our spiritual selves to come to understanding and honor about their leaving. Live. With all of yourselves. They did, they still are, they will do that here again, they will do that here with us again. All is well. In love and light I had to write this. I cried for 450 days, so I know your pain. But then I was given this gift, and I believe we all can reconnect with our beloveds. We need to stop yanking them down from their Heaven by their ankles through our misplaced focus on what we perceive as pain. It is not our right and it is not in alignment with what is good and natural. The last thing they want us to experience as a result of their "death" is pain.
And then I said:
What my daughter taught me (in her Celestial letters) about the trauma was that her transition was but a split second, like going through a doorway into another room, and all the rest of her experience, even in sickness and decline, was her life, and after that split second, it is now again her life but on a higher level, she is her whole self, and she does not want me constantly going into the trauma of reliving what pain I perceived around her death.
She was not alone, she had people caring for her here on Earth and spirits and guides and those who passed from our family line before she did, loving her during and after her transition. None of our "Earth rules" apply. It is all love in the realm where she is now. And I can understand that because when I think about it logically, I know that if there's no death in the world where she is now, spirit is eternal, there can be no threat at all, and if there's no ownership, there's nothing to fight over, so it's eternally peaceful, even though there are a zillion things she is exploring, learning, experiencing, discovering, so she says it is exciting. It is truly a gorgeous place to be.
And then I wrote:
So for me I have learned to honor her death, but I have learned to honor and celebrate her life even more, and I say "Good job, my beloved Jess, good job." She has graduated, as we all will. And it is good. As some of you know, we get a cupcake on the day of her Celestial Birthday - the day she died, and we light a candle and we wish her many happy journeys until we get to journey together again. I think she likes this. We feel her near, she sends her love and peace to me and it envelopes me so that I feel full of love and so much peace.
Just food for thought for anyone who might be struggling. The only way to step beyond those terrible, anguishing images of our children or other beloveds being cremated, buried in the ground, or going through physical decline is to understand that this was not their LIFE. And they want us to know that every second of experience, learning, growth, courage, love, and all the emotions and adventures they went through before their exit, is what is most important. They lived and they continue to live. But now they are not limited by the physical.
So step into your own journeys and know that they are with you, loving you, and you must not abdicate your life in the erroneous perception that their death is where the focus should be. Re-member them and live fully, with all your heart and soul, because we are all beloved and all is well.
The companion book to Coming Alive After Death, Recovery from Grief, published in 2021, is called Letters From Celestial Jess, Afterlife Messages from My Daughter and it is a compilation of all of our letters over the past four years, in which she shares her Heaven, which is just stunningly beautiful, her wisdom, which is huge, and so very much encouragement and love, not just for me but for us all. It is scheduled to publish early 2022 xo
And I would like to add that many of us who've experienced the death of a beloved turn to books to try to understand what has happened, and out of all the books I've read, Bob Olson's Answers About the Afterlife is the very best, along with Journey of Souls by Michael Newton. One of the best books about healing here in the physical world is Dying To Be Me by Anita Moorjani. They write about things we can test for ourselves. And there is so much love awaiting those who are brave enough to do so.
Wishing you many happy journeys, here.
Namaste
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