Cupcake Day, Relationships and Signs XO

Jessie's Orchid

Today is the day we celebrate my Sweet Jessica's Earth Birthday every year. She was born April 29, 1988, and died January 9, 2015 (of complications from Lyme disease gone untreated). And you know what? The relationship continues, not just between the two of us, but also for all of those who were close to her while she was here. Next photo shows how she acknowledges that with love.

See the shape of that root?
Isn't it darling? It's love.

I had the fun and good fortune to be invited last year to mount a posthumous exhibit of Jessie's photos (she was a professional photographer) at one of the galleries in my little town, and it was soooo wonderful to be able to do this. Some people who attended bought some framed photos, some bought prints, and some bought copies of the two books I wrote, sharing our story and many of the things that helped and continue to help me find happiness, peace, pleasure, and love amidst the missing of Sweet Jess's physical presence. 

I bought this orchid to add a touch of beauty to one of the tables at her exhibit and it flourished there in the gallery for a couple of months. When we went to pick it up along with the leftover framed photos (several of which now grace my walls and bring smiles and joy), we noticed that it had developed one of those roots that weave their way out of the pot, and WOW, it was a perfect heart shape! 

A year has passed, and the first blooms of the orchid dropped off as it went to sleep for the winter. But it stayed healthy, and WOW, this spring it has LOTS of new blossoms on it, plus that little root still hanging out and sending its message of love. That little root touched my heart when I first saw it climb out of the pot and shape itself and it continues to bring joy as it becomes a little old shriveled part of the plant that I will never clip off. While the aerial root was fresh and juicy, it nourished the plant, and the thing I like the most is that when it experienced its natural "passing" it never stopped sending that message of love and making my heart sing. And that's how LOVE is. Even though it takes a different form when we pass, it's still singing into our hearts and souls. All the time!

And that's the thing about relationships. Even when our beloved has gone back to what I like to call "True Home" and sometimes call "Heaven," where there's love and welcome in our hearts, they do a million things in their spirit forms to let us know they're with us. I just LOVE that! Thank you Sweet Jess for your love, your serenity, your peace, and your joy, we can feel it even now XO

Marigolds and Blessings!

If you've read my books, Coming Alive After Death: Recovery from Grief, and Letters from Celestial Jess: Afterlife Messages from my Daughter, and if you've experienced the passing of one or more beloveds, you know that sometimes we struggle pretty hard with a whole bunch of things all bundled up in what we call grief. My books take you on a journey that can be very helpful to you in finding ways to regain your sense of balance after catastrophic loss, and much of that is very personal; there's no right or wrong way to grieve the passing of our beloveds, but there are some wonderful things happening in this beautiful world that I'd like to share beyond what's in my books, to bring hope and healing and balance and peace to those still struggling. That's where the marigolds come in.

I had the insane great fortune to be able to meet a woman I absolutely adore, called Roni Ashford, and the story of how we met is kind of wonderful and serendipitous, cause that's how the Universe works : ) She (check out her website linked from her name) is an amazing woman: a teacher, a giver, a lover, a storyteller, a person who teaches and celebrates the beautiful things about different cultures and has won some impressive awards in that capacity. She's also worked on several children's books for Disney that are directly related to the Coco movie, and her relative, Matt has authored a story also put out by Disney - Matt's website is equally impressive and he's good people indeed!

My little story about how I got to meet these two special people is that Roni was attending a meeting in which a former customer of mine who bought a very special custom-made Mala attended that same meeting and he had it with him. 

The custom-made Mala - bead was also commissioned
from my fave bead artists in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Roni got to see and hold his Mala and she decided she'd like one or two for herself, so he gave her my contact information (after more than a year, I'm so appreciative he still had it and shared it!) and Roni and I chatted like old, old friends from the getgo. Working with her is a pure pleasure, thank you Universe for bringing us together!

Well the marigolds come in because I had watched the Disney+ movie called COCO, and it is a wonderful story about how a culture different from the one I'm used to in the U.S. celebrates those who have passed, and also shares a very satisfying story of recovery from betrayal. 

Marigolds feature largely in their celebration, but the storyline is also really special, great for kids of all ages from 5 to 105 years old. So the point is, it is no accident that the Universe brought us together so we could meet and talk (could talk with this woman for hours and wish she lived next door, you probably would too!), and what I discovered was that there are so many people working for good in the world, and we just don't hear enough about them so I'll share a little here.

Coco is about death, and there are so many things that touched my heart when I saw it, but one that sticks with me is that, unlike our rather commercial candy/costume/materialistic customs during Halloween in America, this culture in the movie Coco sets aside a period of days once each year, in which they gather in community with others to talk about their beloveds, to put their photos upon a special shrine or altar in their homes and/or churches, to light candles, to say their names, to tell stories, and some to have picnics near their final resting places in the cemeteries. 

One of the lovely things about this custom is that it gives us a chance to experience connection with our beloved and yet frees us up once the occasion is over to focus on our lives and activities, knowing we can go back to the special place to commune whenever we feel the need. And you know what? I believe to my toes that when we do that our beloveds DO come near to share their love with us, though not because we've laid them to rest in what we call a cemetery, but because they FEEL us wanting to connect, and wherever and however we choose for that to happen, they DO respond, beautifully, as in the orchid that I feel Jess worked with to share her message of love at precisely the time she knew I'd be doing her exhibit and others would be attending. I had no idea that orchid would do that and never realized it until I was at the gallery towards the end of the two-month show when the root had taken form. Just so cool!

So the point of all this is that our beloveds don't just "live in our hearts" or "memories." They're quite present and loving whenever we are open to sending our love to them and receiving it from them.

Jessica's lilies XO!

Another gift that I received from the Universe when I was considering how to honor my daughter on her Earth Birthday this year was when I went through my photos to find the marigolds, which I knew I wanted to include, and in the process, became enchanted by photos of our yard going back several years, and the beauty we created with our focus and attention all those years when we were working hard both at work and home. Sometimes we lose sight of that when we feel mired in grief and it's so refreshing to be reminded of our capacity to create, to love, to make beauty. The lily above was a tiny plant that my son gave to Jess one Easter when she was here, and we popped the little single stalk in the ground many years ago, and to this day it continues to grow and even has several new shoots this year so it'll be pretty marvelous very soon! LOVE ! WOOT!

Peonies I picked for my kids
whenever they visited in season XO

While Sweet Jess was here healing, the peonies bloomed and I put some in her bedroom many times during the short period they were flourishing. Those peonies continue to bloom, and it makes my heart sing to know she loved them and they brought her pleasure, and they continue to thrive and bring us pleasure too. Another lovely, refreshing reminder of history and how it is woven into the fabric of our lives and hearts.

So on this Cupcake Day, I'm celebrating my beautiful daughter Jessica, plus all the other wonderful relationships in my life in which I feel loved and I enjoy loving back. May your life also be filled with loving relationships near and far XO!

Hugs and kisses from me!

Sweet Jess XO!

Check out Coco
and you'll never feel the same about marigolds again,
and maybe a few other things too.

Thanks Disney, thanks Universe, and thanks my Lovies near and far, you know who you are!

This year we've chosen to make pistachio cupcakes with buttercream icing, and we will share with other Lovies cause all we need for us today is one so we are giving away the rest XO Happy journeys and adventures Sweet Jess. I love you forever and a day!

Namaste,

Jen