Getting Unstuck from Death

A Reminder....

Tonight I received a gift too great not to share. I was writing with my daughter, as I miss her during the holidays since she died. And if you've read any of my other posts you know we write back and forth sometimes. She gave me a sweet surprise, along with a lot of love, which I especially appreciate during this very difficult time - when we are besieged with movies, commercials, music, friends, and family members that are happy, jolly, and mostly oblivious to the piercing pain of missing our beloved who has gone Home.

Well Jess took care of that in very simple terms tonight. So I will share our letter with you in case it might help you to think a little differently about the death of your beloved. With me, I learned that the grieving is all about me, not her. And when I stop that and open up to the "her-ness" of her being now, there is really nothing to grieve....

Rob and I did one of my favorite things this afternoon, we gave our pups their bathies. This is one of the first things I was able to do after my daughter died - spend time loving my pups, and it was a lifesaver for me. I made myself do it after nights when I couldn't sleep, days when I didn't eat, and I remember bending over the tub all dizzy and weak and just "getting through" the process of giving them their baths because it was something I could care about. I didn't care about very much that first year. The relevancy just wasn't there. Nothing mattered at all next to the catastrophe we had experienced. But today, nearly four years later, I did not feel dizzy and I did not feel particularly weak, and I took my time helping the pups to really enjoy their baths, I let them lick at the water coming from the sprayer,  snuggle-dried them off with soft, thick towels, brushed them out gently, and it was pure pleasure. I think they enjoy it too, now.

Jess helps me so very much in this journey of learning to live in two worlds. So tonight, after the man and pups were asleep in bed, and Joey Max, my kitty, was curled up next to me in my studio, I pulled out the journal I write with Jess in and I told her how much I miss her, and how I was remembering the Christmases we'd shared as a family, and after agreeing that she'd had plenty of happy times while she was here, she suddenly went into describing the happy times she is experiencing now, in her world, and why. And wow, it was so beautiful and just delightful to think about.

You can click on the images to read the whole letter.

Jess starts to describe her happiness in her world.

"I am having happy 'times' here too, better than I could have imagined there. Mostly because of the lack of limitation. We have acceptance and belonging here as much as we want, and we never have to doubt its sincerity. That is true treasure. It belongs to all of us and you will surely enjoy it Mamaa," she said.

Then she described what she's been doing - learning to play with her new lightbody, which has few limitations, nothing like we have here. 

"Oh hey Mamaa, let me tell you about this body, my body, my individual self when I am not communing as part of the Whole! I love it! It is like a TV channel and I can switch all kinds of things about it. I can change how it looks - just by thinking of it, and because the basis of it is light, it has none of the restrictions that Earth bodies have. It can go through things, like water or cold or heat, and they don't hurt it. So I can explore whatever I want to, and it is kind of 'nuclear' or self generating, so it isn't limited by distance or time like our Earth bodies. We can meld with others who are like 'kindred' Spirits, and we can learn by this melding also. Kind of like cooking where you blend ingredients and the two separate ones become something else when they're blended. We can make music and sound this way Momma. It is loads of fun!"

Well that's a lot of information to consider!

We can blend our energies and share inspiration.

Then she says, "We can also blend somewhat with the energies of certain Earth people and you would call this 'inspiration.' That is very fun. If our hearts are pure, we are given the freedom to inspire others in many places, not just Earth. It's part of our learning about how we can create."

Oh, that's another zinger - she's learning how to be a creator! Makes me wonder what we might be able to create in those worlds. Maybe we should get our hearts in the right place before we mess with that!

All this is fascinating to me, but it's not the true gift that I want to share. She goes on to say, "Well Momma, about the sadness. You are doing much better. And I would like you to know that I am far, far away from that period of Earthly sickness and the events around that death. It was my transition, and most welcome in many ways, but I am sooooo much beyond it now, it's like a little factoid. A little process. And when you go back to it or hold onto it, it's like you're holding onto something that is at rest and has been at rest for me since the moment of my transition. I have no attachment or yearning, because I hold all of what I experienced, all of the love, and the learnings from the struggles as a part of me, but I have moved beyond it - it is so small compared to the absolute lack of Earthly limitation that I experience here and the absolute love and vastness and 'allness' that I experience here."

About the sadness...

That is where she first starts to go into her Gift to me. She is telling me to let go of the death itself. She is saying that was just a process, her transition. And she is way beyond that now, and the implication is that I also can be way beyond that and all the trauma and heavy emotion around it. But here comes the best part. She said, "I think that is why we have the gift of the night skies full of stars on Earth, to remind us of the 'smallness' compared to the 'Allness.' It's like we kind of know in our hearts when we are there, but we don't really stop and listen to the lessons of Nature and the Cosmos."

"It's like the rhythm of the ocean we talked about - the flow. It's like the air we breathe into our bodies - our true Gifts, that we just take for granted and we don't understand that they are The Great Reminders."

The Great Reminders

She said, "Our Creator knew that we would need these reminders and there is life and sustenance and power in them."

And here is the how to get unstuck from death part - she said, "If you feel sad, go outside and partake of The Reminders - the sky, the wind, the stars, the water, and fire can do that too. These are elemental - not totally 'containable' or even such that people can 'own' them, though they try. It is not really possible. They are sacred." 

And this is a HUGE reminder to me of the difference between our worlds - yes, we come here as spirits-being-human, and while we are here, we have these lovely, vast, un-ownable, uncontainable, life-sustaining resources, gifts, that our Creator has bestowed upon us. They remind me that vastness does certainly exist, uncontainability exists, and by that I think I mean that the concept of true freedom that cannot be captured or trapped exists all around us every day and every night to remind us of our true Home and our true Selves! How wonderful! How special are we that our Creator has gifted every one of us with things so sacred, so vast, so invisible, yet essential?! Just that these lovely Reminders exist means to me that our very limited world is not at all, all that is. There's far more. And that makes me very happy.

We go to the woods to breathe the fresh air and we know it makes us feel good, and it can be very healing. We go to the beach and listen to the rhythm of the ocean and we know it makes us feel good and can also be very healing. And we look up at the sky countless times, wondering about those beautiful stars, and we know that also makes us feel good. But do we ever think that these are The Reminders of where we came from, of the vastness of that endless flow, the rhythm itself of Love? That these are the Reminders of Home and that if one of our beloveds goes Home, the completion of their Earth adventure is truly to be celebrated?

Thank you sweet Jess, as always, for sharing your much expanded perspectives!

Namaste,
Jen