I'm pretty sure that's a real elf! |
To set up this chapter, you need to know that Jess had two grand mal seizures over the summer, which resulted in the suspension of her driver's license, to keep her, as well as others, safe on the road. So she reluctantly became "a bus person."
Bus Angels
Jess became a Bus Angel. Once she
got over the fact that I knew about both of her seizures and realized I wasn't
going to come and overtake her life, she settled into telling me her stories.
She sent beautiful photos of her
walk to the bus stop in the mornings or evenings, in the rain or the sun or the
wind or the ice or the occasional dump of snow.
"I bought special boots for
my bus stop walks, Momma." She sent me photos of her sweet feet encased in
these rubber-soled boots that were nonetheless very fashionable.
Before her first time taking the
bus, I gave her a pep-talk on the phone, reminding her of the days when she and
her brother were very young, right after the breakup of first marriage, and the
biological father would make them take the bus to school on the days he took
care of them before we moved out of state. When they were little, I had always taken
them to school myself, and because of my care, I never imagined they'd become
"bus people." But they loved the school bus at times when they stayed
with the biological father, and felt very independent as youngsters and I was
grateful at this time to be able to remind her of it.
"There were two people
sitting next to me, Momma," she said after her first ride. "They were
arguing and it made me feel uncomfortable. One of them was clearly drugged out
and the other one was trying to get her through it." Jess was afraid that
night, afraid of strangers, not for certain sure where she was supposed to get
off, and a bit mistrustful of the whole process of riding the bus.
I waited, heart still in my throat
for the next evening's bus story. "There was a person on the bus who had
never ridden a bus before," Jess said. "And they didn't know where to
get off and they were all scared," she said.
She had done her research to find
her bus stops (not one, but TWO) so she knew the way to work and home, and some
other places besides.
"Maybe you can become a Bus
Angel," I suggested, searching for a way to help her be comfortable among
people she didn't know, strangers around her where she'd previously been able
to drive her car, smoke, play her favorite music, and zip around to wherever
she wanted to be, parking close to where she needed to go.
"Bus Angels are people who
help to comfort others," I said. "And if you see this person
tomorrow, which is likely, you can talk to them and see how their bus adventure
is going." Searching, searching in my heart for a way to make her feel
empowered after the loss of driving privileges. Her beautiful new car named
Bluebird (for the bluebird of happiness) sat in the parking lot of her home all
day, all night, with no one to turn the ignition and start a new adventure with
her.
"Jess, even though taking the
bus is harder, please don't drive," I said one night. "You don't want
to risk having a seizure at the wheel, and I would never want you to experience
harming or even the death of another person if that should ever happen."
God, she listened. And through the ice and snow and rain of winter, she walked
and walked, slid, and became a true Bus Angel. She took the battery out of
Bluebird so that she would not be tempted to drive. Sweet Jess.
At Christmastime they of course,
always had Santa come to the studio to take photos with the children, and one
of Jess's favorite things to do was dress up as an elf and become Santa's
helper, to the delight of all the children. Holiday time came around, and she
was still taking the bus, counting the days until she could drive again in
February. It would take six months clearance time without a seizure for her to
secure driving privileges again. So she dressed in her elf outfit, soft green
tunic, stockings, little boots, and a special hat. She wore it on the bus to
work.
That day, there was a little girl
on the bus with her father and the child stared at Elf Jess with big eyes and
started flirting. Arms out, she stretched waaay away from her seat on her
father's lap and leaned towards Jess, begging to sit in her lap. Jess raised
her eyebrows to the father and he nodded his head, handing over his little
girl.
Jess took her onto her lap,
wrapped her arms around her, and swung the little girl side to side, side to
side, her hair hanging upside down as the little girl leaned backwards,
giggling, and laughter surrounded them from people sitting alongside. When Jess
got off the bus, she noticed that the father and the little girl had gotten off
just ahead of her, and she found herself walking a few feet behind them towards
her workplace.
"Do you think that was a REAL
Elf, Daddy?" asked the little girl.
"I'm pretty sure it was."
said her father.
And Elf Jess, the Bus Angel,
glowed all day.
It was good stories on the phone
that night and I knew she had graduated from fearful, unempowered bus person to
Bus Angel.
Yes, Virginia, Santa works with some awesome elves! |
I'm so proud of Jess for living life to the fullest, even just a couple of weeks before her body failed her and she died - January 9th. She never let fear set her back. Such grace. Such love. Such sweet, sweet memories. I imagine that in her Heaven she can spend as much time with Santa as she wants, and sweet little girls and boys who believe in elves!
Happy holidays!
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